A Reason to Live
by Fantasia V
Summary: As an aspiring art student, Feliciano Vargas had his entire life before him... before 'The Incident,' at least. Since then, his life became a struggle-a test of endurance and love as his misadventures in the hospital place him in the care of Doctor Ludwig Beilschmidt, a young doctor determined to find a cure for the impossible.


**[A/N]—Whoa! First non-PruAus fic! ****Although the temptation to write a spin-off for this is just too tempting… Now would be a good time to start placing bets.**

**Anywho, I've had this idea for a while—by which I mean nearly a year of spontaneous bursts of inspirations and laziness. It's one of those, "Huh I wonder what would happen…" things that eventually get turned into fanfics. So yes, reasons for living. What is life? Etc, etc, etc…**

**Without further ado, I present the fic, in all of its wonder and glory:**

~(^-^)~

Never had Feliciano Vargas ever stopped to think about the simple act of breathing. It just hadn't proved to be something important enough to focus on. Given his hectic lifestyle, there simply wasn't enough room to squeeze in such thoughts between the time he spent at the university and the time he spent sleeping. Besides, it wasn't as if he needed to concentrate on the air as it flowed steadily into his lungs. It was something that just happened. Thinking about it not only seemed stupid

He didn't have to concentrate nor did he ever. Not only did it sound stupid, but it was also unnecessary.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

It was easy.

There couldn't be more than just those three simple steps... right?

Feliciano would have answered "of course not!" a couple of minutes ago, just a couple minutes before he found himself wheezing and gasping on the carpet, a harsh choking noise pulled from the back of his throat as he thrashed about on the floor. Never in his young life had such a simple task ever been so difficult. His mouth was opening and closing but it felt like no oxygen was entering no matter what he did. Breathing began to feel impossible.

He could not inhale. He could not exhale. And he could most certainly not repeat.

Instead, a crimson liquid oozed out of his mouth and splattered onto the carpet, staining it with his pain and suffering, as he continued his fight for air. Finding himself in complete desperation, he managed to lift his head off of the carpet to give a weak cry for help. His fists continued to pound against the floor, trying their best to attract any sort of attention they could. It was a dull noise, but seemed to do the trick.

Within a matter of seconds, his elder brother had arrived-eyes wide with horror at the scene set before him.

"Feliciano!"

The young Italian gave another cry as his brother's figure began to blur before him, his clothes blending into the walls behind until the two were indistinguishable. As if sensing his sudden troubles with vision, Lovino dove onto the ground. His face, which had gone white in pure terror, stood mere centimeters from the younger's own.

It was an expression that frightened Feliciano. Never before had he ever seen his brother in such a state. He wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and calm him, to reassure him that everything was fine, even it would be a blatant lie.

Still, nothing but choked coughs and blood managed to leave his mouth as his consolation remained a mere unspoken thought, held down by a sharp feeling of pain. It was as if Death himself was wrapping its icy hands around his neck, slowly strangling him to death whilst pulling out his lungs.

"_Merda!_ H-Hold on! I'm going to go call the ambulance. Oh _dio_... Where the HELL is that fucking phone!?"

The world around him appeared to be spinning now, it's speed quickening with every attempt he took at breathing. Why was this so hard? He didn't know. He hadn't the slightest idea. He knew of nothing but the pain, the fiery agony that had somehow climbed into his lungs. It stung like nothing the young Italian had ever felt in his life.

Feliciano could feel himself getting dizzier now as the colors around him began to blur into one another. Everything was becoming one big indistinguishable mess and there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

He could hear his brother screaming into the phone, cursing at the poor operator on the line.

_L-Lovino... _He tried to call out, only to be cut off as his world went black.

~(^-^)~

"Lovi! Calm down!"

"No! No I will not calm down! Get your filthy hands off of me, you _stronzo_!" The brunette screamed as hot and sticky tears continued to roll down his face.

Under normal circumstances he wouldn't dare let anyone see him in such a pathetic state-eyes red and tears streaming down his cheeks. He had been crying into that Spaniard idiot's arms for hours.

But these weren't normal circumstances, not even close. Right now, what those idiots running around in scrubs thought of him was the least of his worries.

_Mio fratello, oh dio, mio fratello piccolo_...

He didn't know what to do. He was the eldest, he was supposed to take care of him! But instead, here he was on the opposite side of those cruel glass doors with their distinctive ICU label without a clue how his dear younger brother was faring.

It was ridiculous! He was his family, they should have agreed to let him in!

"Lovi, listen to me..." Antonio finally spoke. Reassuring the overly emotional Italian (although in this case, there was no way he could blame him) had always proved to be a difficult task. Still, if he didn't want the two of them to be thrown out of the hospital, it was a task he had to fulfill. "There's nothing you can do, Lovi. Even if I let go of you, what good will it do?"

"I-I could find out whether he's okay or not," Lovino sniffled. He wiped his nose with the other's sleeve, drenching the fabric in tears.

"I know it's going to take a while, but you need to wait for the doctor."

"Fuck it! That bastard's taking too long!"

"If you stopped crying in my shirt you'd see that she's right here."

Lovino rubbed at his eyes once again before turning to face the nurse in front of him. How the hell did she get there?

"Si?" He asked irritably.

"Are you by any chance related to Feliciano Vargas?" She asked. Her brunette hair spilled down onto green scrubs, emerald colored eyes studying him carefully.

The Italian's resemblance to his younger brother was almost identical. If the two were sitting side by side, she doubted that she would have been able to tell them apart. At any rate, she had to ask. It was mix-ups like these that lost doctors their jobs...

Lovino rolled his eyes.

"Obviously, I'm his older brother. Is he alright?"

The nurse nodded slowly. "I suppose you could say that he's stable for now—" She finally responded.

"What the fucking hell do you mean _for now?!_" Lovino interrupted, his volume rising. "What are you trying to say? Just spit it out!"

"Lovi, Lovi, calm down! I'm sure he's going to be fine... _Si, senorita_?" Antonio looked up at the nurse who quickly nodded in agreement.

"It's nothing too bad, Lovi. There are-"

"Lovino."

"Lovino? Oh, sorry about that. Anyway, there are a few other issues, but so far it isn't too bad... At least he's still alive."

"He's not... he's not going to d-die, is he?"

"Well, everyone dies eventually..."

~(^-^)~

A fresh wave of pain washed over his body, forcing the Italian to cringe under the sheets.

It hurt. Badly.

Feliciano wasn't sure what exactly was aching, but there was definitely pain. A nauseating and unbearable type of pain that had him tightly gripping the sheets, holding on as if it would somehow help and ease the suffering.

Was it his stomach? His heart? His lungs? His brain?

As far as the young Italian knew, it could have easily been all at once-it definitely felt like it. There was more than enough pain coursing through his frail body for that.

His eyes could barely even make out the room around him. The light was too bright, too blinding, too harsh.

He could make out several noises in the distance-it sounded like talking. Quiet mumbling and murmuring that made him toss and turn on the mattress.

Although Feliciano had only been awake for a few minutes, he was already beginning to feel sleepy. Something in the darkness was calling out to him, its soft voice singing over the painful buzz of reality.

The darkness soon spread over his body, wrapping him whole and dragging him back into the peaceful realms of unconsciousness...

~(^-^)~

"Stop screwing around with me! I meant immediately or next week or next year or something! Don't even try to feed me any of that shit!"

"It depends..." Elizaveta replied, biting her lip hesitantly. "It depends on whether or not we can get him to stay stable, whether his condition worsens, whether the medication works... There's so much that could go wrong and still so much that could end up going right. Nobody has a clue yet, but we'll tell you as soon as anything changes."

"What kind of fucked up hospital is this? Are you even real doctors?! How the fuck do you not know?"

"Just ignore him," Antonio told the nurse with a sigh. His arm tightened around the other's shoulders in an effort to reassure him. "He's just upset. His brother's the only family he has left."

"Ohh..." The nurse gave an understanding nod. "I am really sorry, Lovino."

"Yeah, yeah, as long as he lives it'll be alright," The Italian replied bitterly. He just couldn't stand her fake sympathetic act. Hell, that bitch had probably said the same thing millions of times today. Wasn't it her job to tell people whether or not someone died or made it? She probably didn't even mean it at this point... He certainly wouldn't if he were in her place.

"It all depends on what's wrong with him, which is where we need your help. Can you tell what exactly was happened when you called for an ambulance?" The nurse asked, she had taken the pen from behind her ears and was now positioning it over a clipboard, ready to take notes.

"He was fucking coughing up blood!" Lovino cried out. Oh God, he could already feel the tears beginning to form in his eyes all over again. "It was fucking horrible! He was trying to call out for me, but his voice was all raspy and shitty. And then he collapsed on the carpet while I was dialing the fucking number!"

"Hmm..." Elizaveta nodded thoughtfully. None of this new information sounded good at all. If anything, it only worsened the poor boy's condition... After all, it didn't take a doctor to know that coughing up blood was never a good sign. "Have you noticed anything odd about him lately? Maybe he's been a little more tired, or perhaps restless? Loss of weight or appetite?"

"Feliciano sleeps a lot-but lately, it's like he's been sleeping even more. Everytime I try to call him, he's taking a fucking _siesta_! Oh and he's been coughing a lot, but he took some cough syrup for that._ Merda,_ I always forget their stupid names... That's not important, is it? Oh, and he's also been really short of breath lately. You know, panting and wheezing a lot? It's so fucking annoying and I thought he just wasn't exercising enough before. I didn't think..."

"Of course you didn't," the nurse told him reassuringly. "Besides the recent coughing up blood, all of these are fairly common. Nobody would ever think that it would end up this serious. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's alright."

"No it's not! He's in the fucking hospital!"

"He might recover," she suggested. "I'll come back again when he's in a stable condition and can receive visitors, okay?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

~(^-^)~

Noise...

Oh _mio dio_, the noise. There was so much of it, buzzing about and attacking the sides of his head. Feliciano's entire body felt numb and unmovable, as if he were made of lead. And above all, the pain was practically unbearable. Everything ached, but now he was certain that it was his lungs ached the most of all.

It felt as if someone had somehow placed a fire in his lungs and left it to burn the rest of his body away from there. He coughed and sputtered on the "smoke" a fresh new wave of noise washing over him when several people in the room had noticed his fit. Wait... Weren't there people before, were they?

Feliciano couldn't remember and it hurt too much when he tried to recall the memory.

At any rate, the last thing he saw before fading out were a pair of blue eyes. They were eyes like nothing Feliciano had ever seen before. So soulful and deep, he could practically feel himself drowning in their vivid cerulean hue.

Or perhaps that was just his body sinking back into the mattress as his world went black once more...

~(^-^)~

The next time Elizaveta had returned, Lovino had practically jumped out of his seat, startling the other waiting families besides him. Of course by now, many of them had already grown accustomed to his sudden fits and bouts of anger.

"Is he-?"

"Yup," the nurse grinned, her emerald eyes shining wildly. Oh yes, now this was exactly why she had decided to become a nurse-to deliver the happy news to families who were waiting so desperately for it, to watch their faces light up with joy. It just filled her up with joy of her own, making her giddy and intoxicated on the feeling. "He's stable and can accept visitors now, but only one at a time, alright?"

"Fuck yes!" Lovino cheered, before turning to his Spanish companion. "I'm going to go see _mi fratello!_"

Antonio nodded. "I'll be waiting right here when you get back. Tell him I said 'hi,' okay?"

"Si, you _stronzo_!"

~(^-^)~

White.

That was what the young Italian had finally opened his eyes to.

Nothing but pure, blinding white.

For a couple of moments, he had actually believed to have died and gone straight up to heaven. Oh his grandfather had always said he would. He was deemed far too innocent and naive for his own good, with no idea of the dangers of the world.

Hazel eyes squinted into the blankness of his surroundings, scanning the endless scene of blinding white. It was too bright for him. And then there was all of this light...

His eyes squinted even more, brow furrowing as a noise approached in the distance. They sounded like footsteps...

He could hear the soft click of a door before his brother walked in. At this, Feliciano's eyes widened considerably. Lovino had died as well?! No, it couldn't be possible...

He blinked.

Upon opening his eyes again, the purely white landscape had transformed into an overly white-washed room. Now that certainly made more sense, didn't it? More than making sense, it granted relief to the boy. His body relaxed under the sheets, fists slowly uncurling from their former tight ball. He hadn't died and his brother was safe.

"_Fr-fratello...?_" Lovino's hoarse voice sounded choked, held back by grief and worry.

"Si, it's me," Feliciano smiled. He tried his best to be comforting, but he knew he wasn't doing a good job. Lovino's forced smile was wavering and soon enough, tears had began to stream down his cheeks as another fit of cries burst out.

Before he could even react, the younger brother had been embraced by a warm hug. Tight and comforting, refusing to let go until he gasped from a sharp intake of pain in his chest. Upon hearing this, the elder quickly withdrew his grip-an expression of utmost worry returning to his face.

"Feli..." He whispered repeatedly, burying his face in the crook of his neck. "Feli, Feli, Feli..."

"Feliciano Vargas?"

A new voice had descended upon the room as a man, dressed in a well-kept white jacket appeared. Everything about him seemed perfect and precise from the stethoscope draped around his neck to his neatly slicked back blonde hair. His entire appearance simply screamed "professional," and to be honest, it kind of intimidated the young Italian who instantly pulled away from his brother.

"_Si?_" after staring at the newcomer for so long, Feliciano had finally found his voice to respond. He felt silly in the presence of someone who looked so official. "That's me."

"No shit it's you," Lovino rolled his eyes. "There's only one person there's only one of us that's fucking bedridden!"

"Only for a short period of time," the doctor spoke. Feliciano hadn't noticed it before, but his voice had a slight accent to it. ...German perhaps?

"But that's still fucking bedridden!"

"Well, we can't have him walking about in this state just yet."

At these words, the color drained from the patient's face.

"W-what state?" He asked, fear taking a strong hold of his voice.

"You've been unconscious for a whole fucking day!" Lovino cried out, his voice strained as he fought to fight back a fresh wave of tears. "Twenty-four hours just lying there, not moving at all!"

"Please keep your voice down, Mr. Vargas. This is a hospital," the doctor shot him a pained look, before turning back to Feliciano. "As your brother said, you've been unconscious for an entire day starting from when you began coughing up blood after dinner yesterday. There were intervals were you woke up, but I'm afraid you were never able to do much other than fall asleep again."

"A whole day? Oh _mio dio_... So I'm in a hospital now?"

"No dumbass, we're at home," Lovino interrupted. "Of course we're in a fucking hospital! Where do you think I'd take you after finding you trying to puke up your insides!? The petting zoo?"

"Lovino, please remember to keep your voice down otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't make me leave potato-bastard! I'm his fucking brother! I'm the only family he has left!"

"I'm aware of that. However, you're also causing a disturbance and upsetting him further. You can probably imagine the state he's in right now and how little your behavior is helping."

"Fine, but I'm only shutting up for Feli, not you," Lovino muttered stubbornly.

he doctor rolled his eyes, indicating that he couldn't care less so long as the other promised to remain quiet.

"So um... When am I going home?" Feliciano finally asked, attempting to get rid of the uneasy silence settling within the room.

"I don't know yet. There are still x-rays, CT scans, and other tests to run. It's very possible that you just have a strong case of pneumonia, but it should be nothing some medication can cure. In the meanwhile however, we'll have to keep you here in case your condition worsens, if that's alright with you and your brother, of course."

"It's fine," Lovino grumbled, answering for his younger brother.

"How long am I going to stay here?" Feliciano asked. "I have school on Monday and the art exhibit is next week..."

The doctor sighed. "If things improve you may be let out early, but until then I doubt you'll be going to school this Monday. If you'd like, we could schedule the x-ray appointment tomorrow. You'll be able to get some rest before then."

"What happens if the x-ray gives him cancer or some shit? Isn't there radiation-"

"Cancer from x-rays is extremely rare which is why we only use it when needed, and now we have to find out exactly what's wrong with him. I'm not saying he does have it, but several of his symptoms are matching up to lung cancer."

"Lung cancer!? What the hell! Feli hasn't touched a fucking cigar in his life!"

"I'm very glad to hear that, but there are still other methods of him getting lung cancer besides him actually smoking. From my point of few, he's displayed dyspnea, clubbed fingers, hemoptysis, wheezing and difficulty breathing, and so on. It's my duty as his doctor to make sure these symptoms don't spell out anything worse than we want it to."

The sharp protests of his brother caused the younger Italian to wince, his fists curling tightly around the edge of the sheets. Upon noticing this, the doctor sent Lovino a rather sharp glare.

"Maybe it would be better if we gave him some rest, _ja_?"

Lovino grumbled, but ultimately didn't stop the doctor from pulling him out of the room.

Just before the two left, Feliciano managed to lock gazes with the doctor-his vivid cerulean eyes suddenly feeling so achingly familiar. He couldn't help but gasp in shock. Those were the eyes he saw when he woke up... weren't they?

The Italian fell back onto the bed, unable to stop thinking about that soft shade of blue until he fell asleep.

~(^-^)~

"So you're finally awake?" An emerald eyed woman grinned. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Feliciano smiled, sleep continuing to hang onto the corners of his mouth. "I'm sorry miss but... where am I?"

"Where do you think you are?" She asked mischievously.  
"I... I remember being at home. I was eating pasta, I think? And then... Oh! I think I know now!"

The woman nodded, her hazel curls bouncing up and down. "You're brother found you in the middle of a seizure and called us immediately. It's a good thing too!"

"So I'm in... a hospital?"

She nodded again. "You're brother's been worried sick! He's going to be so happy to find out that you're finally awake."

"Lovino's here!?"

"Yup, hasn't left since you were admitted. And believe me, we've tried getting rid of him... Is he always that loud?"  
Feliciano only grinned. "Si, that's Lovino. How long was I asleep for though? I hope I didn't make him wait too long..."

"It was about five or six hours, but you need the rest. You're brother even told us that you haven't been sleeping well recently so plenty of well-rest is very important, especially for someone in your state."

"My state? Wait, what happened? I still don't know what's going on..."

"We were going to wait a while to tell you but if you really want to know, well... There's a possibility you might have lung cancer." She replied, biting her lip thoughtfully before hastily adding on. "Of course it's still not final, so don't worry yourself too much! We still need to run a few tests later though, just to be sure. Are you feeling well enough for an appointment tomorrow morning? We have a slot open at ten."

"Si," Feliciano nodded. "I feel a lot better."

On the contrary, his body felt numb... And the Italian was terrified.

_Lung cancer. _Just the words themselves sounded so ominous and terrifying.

_Lung cancer. Lung cancer. Lung cancer._

It was like watching a movie, surreal. Everything moved around him and he didn't feel like a part of it at all.

On the other, he sort of expected this... Somewhere in the back of his mind he had this inexplicable, dreaded feeling that he'd one day end up here.

It was an odd feeling that only sounded stranger as he attempted to explain.

"Well that's good to hear," The nurse carried on, oblivious to his mental ramblings. The results usually come in quickly so we can see if you really are a lot better. You probably are though. The chances of getting lung cancer if you don't smoke are really slim. You know how doctors are, they always like to exaggerate and put out the worst case scenario-but there's nothing to be scared about. They just do it to prepare you for the worst, just in case. You can relax! In my opinion, it's probably just a mild case of pneumonia—nothing some antibiotics and plenty of rest won't solve."

"Will I be able to go home then?" Feliciano asked hopefully.

"Whoa, slow down there!" The nurse cried out. "That's only my opinion and nobody can say anything for sure now. If it is only a mild case of pneumonia then you'll be in the clear. But if it's a more severe case or the doc's actually right, then... well, that's a little different..."

"How long will I have to stay here then?"

"A while," She sighed. "But hopefully you don't have anything too bad. Oh, almost forgot! Doctor Beilschmidt wanted me to ask you a few questions."

"Doctor Beilschmidt?" the Italian asked tentatively.

"The doctor who came in to see you before, blonde hair, blue eyes, always looking really serious, you know him right?"

"Oh _si_, I know him!" Feliciano explained, remembering the doctor who had come into the room earlier. So that was Doctor Beilschmidt... The Italian repeated it several times in his head, not wanting to forget the name.

"Alright, so he wants to know if you feel different in any way. Does anything new hurt? Is it easier or harder to breathe now?"

"I just feel a lot better. I'm a little tired, chest still hurts a bit, but it's not that bad, you know? It's all just kind of been there before."

"Before? How long has your chest been feeling like this?"

The Italian bit his lip as he pondered the question over. "...About ten months? Maybe a year?"

"A year?!" The nurse sucked in her breath."Why didn't you do anything sooner? I don't want to scare you are anything, honey, but this could be a lot worse than just pneumonia. That usually goes away in a couple of weeks, a month at the most."

"It's alright, really. I can bare it."

"How long have you been throwing up blood then?" She demanded, voice straining in worry.

"A few months...? I think it's a little over three, now."

"And you haven't done anything until now?"

"I-I didn't think it was anything that bad. I thought if maybe I just ignored it, it would just... I don't know, go away?"

The nurse let out a sigh. "Feli, honey, I am so sorry but that's not how these things work. I wish it was, but it isn't. I really have to go tell Doctor Beilschmidt about this. Now please, pretty pretty please, tell us if anything else happens. I'll see if I can push the appointments for the x-ray and CT scan earlier. Do you think you'll be ready in a couple of hours?"

"A couple of hours? Can you really move it that soon?"

"It's no problem," she grinned. "I'll tell you as soon as I get the okay."

~(^-^)~

A few minutes later, the Elizaveta had returned with the doctor-both looking rather red in the face and short of breath.

"_B-Buon giorno?"_ Feliciano spoke up hesitantly.

The nurse shot him a thumbs-up. "He said that we can definitely move your CT and x-ray scans earlier."

"The reason why doesn't call for much celebration though," the doctor spoke.

At this, Elizaveta pulled a face. "Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood."

"What happened?" The Italian asked. His voice trembled slightly as he feared the worst.

"Feliciano, why didn't you tell me about everything that had been going on?" The doctor spoke, barely managing to keep his anger at bay.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean the vomiting blood, the pain in your chest, everything."

"I-I didn't think it was that important!"

"How could you not-"

"Hold on Ludwig," Elizaveta interrupted as the doctor's voice rose furiously. "Don't you think you could just spare him the scolding and get on with the examination?"

"_Ja, ja_ I will... Could you wait outside for a few minutes?"

"No problem."

Ludwig waited until the door swung shut before turning to face the Italian.

"Tell me when all of this started," he ordered.

"Well..." Feliciano began, his words trailing off as he began to think. "I started throwing up blood on the day my brother had his first date-It was around the first week of May. He was so excited; I just couldn't bring him down by telling him what had happened."

"And the day after that? The week? The month? Judging from your brother's panicked expression when he we met him, you never told him even after three months had passed."

"I... I just couldn't."

"Why? You have a mouth, you can talk."

"I didn't want to upset him," Feliciano sniffled. "He's my older brother and he always worries about me. I didn't want to scare him or hurt him..."

There was a pause of silence between the two until the doctor finally sighed. "I understand."

"Wh-what? You do?" he could barely believe it.

"_Ja,_ I have an older brother too. Biggest pain of my life, but I'd do anything to stop him from worrying so much about me," Doctor Beilschmidt smiled to himself at this. "But that's no reason to hide such important things from them."

His patient sighed. "I know... I feel really bad about all of this. I've put my brother through a lot, more than 'a lot' really. It wasn't fair of me."

Ludwig nodded. "But you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. It's not going to fix anything."

"Si..."

"Remember from this point on, you have to tell me everything that happens. I'm your doctor and I can't help you feel better if you don't tell me what's wrong, understand?"

"I understand."

"Good," the doctor nodded. "Now I just need to give you a quick check-up before I can take you down to the x-ray machines. When was the last time you went for one?"

Feliciano bit his lip. "I... can't remember. I mean, I remember getting a call a year back-or maybe it was two years ago?-that it was time for my annual check-up. I just didn't go though. I don't know... I actually forgot about it."

"Annual check-ups are important Feliciano," Ludwig sighed. "If you went to them when you should have, I doubt that you'd be in this situation today."

"I know... I'm sorry." He seemed to be taking in the recent events as if they were all his fault. It was far too obvious from the way he spoke, softly and full of regret. His eyes that had once been joyous pools of amber practically bursting with life and emotion now carried a sunken appearance. It was heartbreaking, to say the least, and Ludwig just couldn't take it.

"Listen, Feliciano..." he finally spoke up after a moment of silence. "Yes you've been slacking off where you're health is concerned, but that doesn't mean the worst case scenario is automatically true. There's only a possibility of you having lung cancer and I doubt it's very likely. At any rate, you don't have to take it so hard on yourself. Just promise me that you'll take better care of yourself from this point on."

Feliciano nodded, wiping away at his eyes as he did so. His lips trembled, fumbling with the words.

He couldn't be crying... could he? Dear Gott... What kind of spineless child was this? Why on earth was he crying? These were the thoughts that would have normally ran through the doctor's mind. He had never really liked those who couldn't take care of themselves and burst out into tears at every little thing. It aggravated him to no end. He just couldn't stand it.

So when he scooped up the Italian's hands in his own, squeezing them gently, it felt as if he were in another's body. This wasn't him. No, this couldn't be him. Why was he doing this? It felt... strange, but also like there was no other choice given the situation.

"It's alright," he comforted Feliciano. "Everything will work out just fine in the end."

A wavering smile broke out over his face. "R-Really?" He sniffled, quickly wiping away at more of his tears.

"_Ja_, it will."

"Th-thank you so much! I know I've been a real pain and everything, but I'm sorry. I promise I've learned my lesson, Doctor Beilschmidt."

The doctor couldn't help but give a small smile of his own. "Ludwig, just call me Ludwig."

~(^-^)~

"Hey West, what took you so long?" an older male was lounging about on the couch, feet kicked up lazily on the armrest.

"Something came up at the hospital. I got held up examining some x-ray results and the like," Ludwig sighed, running a finger through his hair.

"_Gott,_ that's just like you... Such a work-a-holic!" he snorted. "You know it's not good for you to keep coming home late like this right? Can't skip out on sleep, that shit's important."

"Ja ja, I know."

"Is something wrong? You look really tense, tenser than usual, I mean..." Crimson eyes widened in worry and brotherly concern.

"I'm fine, Gilbert. Just leave me alone," Ludwig sighed as he made his way upstairs. Honestly, after a tiring and stressful day at work, the last thing he wanted to deal with was his older brother's shenanigans.

"Don't lie to me young man, no you're not!" Gilbert insisted, chasing after him. "Tell your awesome _bruder_ what the hell happened. If someone's picking on you, you know I'll go beat 'em up! Aw yeah!"

The blonde hesitantly turned around to face the other. "Do you still remember how to read x-ray and CT scan results?"

"Oh puh-lease," he smirked. "Like I could ever forget that!"

"I need you to look at a few things for me."

Gilbert nodded. "No problemo, do you have them now or-"

Before he could even finish his question, Ludwig had already begun digging through his briefcase, searching for the documents. It didn't take long for him to find the two envelopes and hand them to his brother.

"What do we have here...?" The silverette murmured to himself as crimson hues scanned the sheet.

"Stop being so dramatic and just hurry up!"

"_Gott _Luddy, this shit takes time. Okay so you see the guy's lungs right? And you see the tumor right? Definitely lung cancer, non-small cell..." Gilbert murmured thoughtfully. "So the tumor's already developed in that right one but it's spreading out in his chest... Like _really_ spreading out, I think it may have reached some of those lymph gland things already. What is that supposed to be? Fuck it, my memory's a bit foggy... I think it's on... stage four now? You probably can't get rid of it by now, but there should be some sort of medicine you can use to postpone it..."

"I know, I know, I just wanted to be sure..." Ludwig ran a hand through his hair nervously. Stage four lung-cancer and impossible to fully treat...

"I thought you were pretty good at reading the results. You were taught by me, after all! Kesese!"

"Shut up Gilbert, I knew what it read. I just needed a second opinion."

"You look worried," his brother observed.

"If I were you, I'd worry about yourself."

"Gott, I'm trying to help! You don't have to be so cold, Luddy."

Ludwig only sighed. "Are you sure about it then?"

"Absolutely. And if you're not messing around, we both have the same opinion of this guy so it's probably right. You don't know him or anything do you?" Gilbert inquired. "You look like you're the one who was just diagnosed!"

"Nein, I don't know him. I was just unsure."

"Sure..."

**[A/N]—And my first chapter of my first GerIta fic is DONE! Wow, would you look at that? Where has the time gone? Definitely not doing homework, that's for sure. Ehehehehe… I hope you enjoyed it and remember to leave reviews!**

**As just a heads up, I really never update frequently. Ever. So this will probably go for a month or two, or heck maybe even more, without another chapter. Just don't ever think for even a second that I will abandon this fic!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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